BeachWeek day 2

Well day 2 started off a little rocky with over sleeping due to only 4 hours of sleep. I was not able to get a workout in because I did not want hubby to be late to work. This mornings breakfast was 1 serving of cheerios with a little bit of 2% milk, scrambled eggs, and water. Lunch was a little better with a nice salad, easy dressing, the other half of my fruit shake from yesterday and an orange. Tonight for dinner though I crashed and gave in to my bad feelings of myself by eating 8 tacos from Jack In The Box. I had been really proud of myself, but after how my husband had talked to me and talked about other girls I was really feeling disgusted about myself. Although to try and get his words out of my mind I went to the gym and did upper body weights which caused me to feel REALLY SICK due to all the grease from the tacos. As of now I am OFFICIALLY committing to NEVER having another taco from Jack In The Box EVER again, no matter what.

2 a day weekends

During this journey I have decided that for me to keep a good pace that I would go to the gym 5 days a week. Well last weekend I came to the conclusion that since I have so much time on the weekend I would do 2 a days so that I don't overdo it all at once on those days. Last weekend went well and on 1 visit I did cardio followed by weights on the other visit. Today I did another 2 a day where I did strength training this morning and then did cardio this evening, but the best part is that besides a few sore muscles I feel AMAZING.
Beginning this journey was not easy because I was so afraid to fail after giving up the last time that I tried. Lately I have had days where I get really disappointed at myself that I could have ever let myself go so much after being so dedicated to firefighting. The great part is that firefighting has been one of my biggest motivators to go on this journey, so that once again I can be able to help others.

Chaos in life

For the past month things around my house have been complete chaos. The thing though that has made me feel good about myself is that I use the chaos as motivation to get to the gym instead of using as an excuse not to go like I used to. It is amazing at how great I feel to go to the gym and workout instead of being at home moping around feeling sorry for myself because I cannot change what is going on around me. Lately though that hardest part has been not having support from those closest to me instead it seems that they would rather sabotage my progress.
When I started this journey my husband said that he wanted me to workout with him so I said I would except now I go to the gym and he just wants to stay at home. It has really become hard to understand my family since everyone in my house needs o loose some weight and get in shape, but I'm the only person putting the effort in with the foods and exercise. I just wish I could understand how someone says they want to loose weight but eats junk food and fast food all the time along with not using their free gym membership.
My latest motivator though to get healthy has been from my dad's mom being put in the hospital, a week later my mom was, and then two weeks later on this Monday my mom's mom was put in the hospital. It made me understand that if I don't get serious to loose the weight I might be in the hospital next and it could possibly be soon.
Emotionally I am feeling better about myself than I have in a long time, but physically I still have not reached a point where I can notice a difference. To all of my friends who are supporting me, thank you because you make a HUGE difference for me & motivate me.